Far left, filling the pant leg. I have always dressed left. I will always dress left. I do not and cannot go right. It defies logic. It does not compute. When I am with people who dress right, I feel like a member of the Star Ship Enterprise listening to Klingons without the help of a universal translator.
I feel that left dressers are open minded. I feel that those whose appendages sway right are often — pardon the pun — rigid and dogmatic. I feel that left dressers are compassionate. I feel right dressers are penurious. I feel left dressers care about other people.
I feel right dressers care mostly about themselves and others exactly like them. I feel that left dressers are reasonable. They are in touch with their feelings. I feel right dressers are entrenched and declamatory. They yell a lot. Even when the elected president of the United States , who undoubtedly dresses left, is giving a state of the union address, they yell.
This is possibly because those who dress right have a tendency to inadvertently sit on their packages. It was instigated by the actor, Colin Farrell, definitely a very left dresser and it found that those who dress right have brains with smaller amygdales than those who dress left. Amygdales control fear and primitive emotions. It was also determined that right dressers have smaller anterior cingulates. Translation: Right dressers are anxious, fearful and pessimistic about the their appendages.
Right dressers, when attending 50 thousand dollar political fund raisers at mansions in the Hamptons say things like:. We've got the message. But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies — everybody who's got the right to vote — they don't understand what's going on. I just think if you're lower income — one, you're not as educated, two, they don't understand how it works, they don't understand how the systems work, they don't understand the impact.
What I like about left dressers is they stay in shape, buy organic, play tennis and believe in evolution, an infinite universe and global warming. Maybe this is because right dressers believe God is taking care of them and in return, they are taking care of Him. It should be noted that there are a number of people in the world - terrorists and suicide bombers and bigots and religious fanatics and military regimes that enjoy killing their own citizens come to mind - who dress neither right or left but instead stick their appendages back between their legs and safely up their butt holes.
This turns off the flow of blood to the brains completely. Okay, what with the current state of affairs, no one likes government. Legend has it that prince Albert son of Queen Victoria I was so conscientious about how he dressed that be pinned himself to one side of his trousers with the aid of a genital piercing.
Contact benjaminsaccaggi gmail. Like Like. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. This whole thing of forcing your penis to choose a direction is quite likely a matter of conditioning. We habitually push the penis to one side, where it is held in place by your choice of underwear. Men who prefer boxers tend to force their package to hang in at an awkward, upright angle.
Or, squished to a side. While briefs offer no support, resulting in embarrassing flopping around all day and chafing as your private parts rub against your inner thigh. Next, buy underwear that prevents chafing and protects your family jewels, especially if you live an active lifestyle.
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You will learn: What does it mean to dress to the left or dress to the right? We seem to be in the Crotch Zone at […]. Powered by WordPress. Arnold Zwicky's Blog A blog mostly about language. Surrealists ». I feel that left dressers are open minded.
I feel that those whose appendages sway right are often — pardon the pun — rigid and dogmatic. And on from there. Brain anatomy comes into it eventually.
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